Thanks so much all you fantastic folks for all the kind feedback on the GA 2008 blogs. I'm humbled by the positive words shared by so many of you.
So much so that I've launched a new blog in the UU Blogosphere! It's http://chalicespark.blogspot.com/ and here I hope to offer commentary on this wild ride of life as a UU here in our time and in this place. I hope you'll stop by and that you'll check out the blogs I've highlighted on the sidebar. There is a huge world out there of people sharing thoughts and insight--and it's just waiting for you!
Blessings ALL!
Friday, July 04, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
GA, sparks family conversation
Being home again is just lovely! I'm so happy to be in the lovely Pacific Northwest where 85 is a record high and the town pool is crowded even when it's overcast and 72.
It's funny though, I've been trying to bring home little bits of GA to my family. Yesterday I played the Good Asian Drivers set from the Synergy Service for my husband and for the two kids who didn't come with me to GA. When we were watching it a second time, my youngest son said "I don't like feminists, I mean, it's not like all us men are monsters." (Melissa Li proudly proclaims herself a feminist, and if you listen closely you can probably hear my wolf whistle in agreement from the cheap seats!)
"Sometimes that's what it feels like to be white" is what I said without even thinking about it. Oops. Maybe that was too much. In my house I am the only woman and the only white person. Well, I have a girl dog, but I don't think that counts! My husband is Korean and my kids are biological so they're multi-racial. They call themselves Hapa (which some folks feel is itself cultural misappropriation from Hawaiian, it means literally "half") and are--all four of them, powerful, strong, and very proud Asian men (their favorite hangin' out Asian guy website-- http://www.angryasianman.com/angry.html).
My kids get asked "what are you?" by people who don't really get it (favorite answer...? yes!), and "which of your parents is Asian" by people who do. They don't look like most of the kids at Korean community events, and they don't look like the folks at the Scandinavian bakery in Ballard. But this is part of the reason we moved here to Seattle from the very white midwest. Our kids do have a peer group of multi-racial kids in schools and on teams and just walking thru the zoo. Here, we're not the racial diversity on our block. We fit in.
I'm still awfully torn about the Anti-racism, anti-opression, multi cultural work that we do at GA with the youth. A few years ago I complained loudly to everyone who would listen, and just made a big mudhole of the situation. What I learned is that being white, I can't really speak to the AR/AO/MC work we do as UUs. It comes across as more denial by another white person. And maybe that is what it is. But when the youth break into Identity Groups, they caucus in two groups. One is the PoC or the Person of Color group. The other is the white group. I notice in a very outside-looking-in way of observing this group that some of the youth of a multi-racial background are "busy" during that session. My son caucused this year with the white group the one time he did attend although if you look at his myspace he identifies there as Korean American.
I wonder if we're serving our mixed race young folks well. Not to mention the able-ism, age-ism, classism anti- oppression work we aren't even whispering about! I know, I know. We only have a short, tiny time and so much to do. True true true. Race is a huge and important issue for us to deal with. In my house we celebrate "Loving Day" http://lovingday.org/and are intentionally thankful that we can be legally married. The year we were born, it would have been illegal in a handful of states still--and we're Gen X-ers!
I guess I've come to think of it this way. If we were going to caucus by sexual orientation, we would not tell our youth "you have to choose, gay or straight, one or the other, or hey! Try one today and the other one tomorrow!" what about queer youth who are bi or multi-affectional? What about trans youth? It's un-thinkable! Isn't this the reason we use the word queer? It's a bigger word! A bigger meaning!
Maybe I'm just a clueless white woman, who doesn't get it. Could be. Could be.
And really, it's a small pokey pebble of annoyance in the giant sized happiness I am still feeling about GA and especially the youth programming. And hey, it helped my little curmudgeon of an eleven-year-old son understand a little of what his white mom sometimes feels in her house full of PoCs! It's our "Growing Edge" and yes, I really do hate that term, but sometimes, I guess, it fits.
It's funny though, I've been trying to bring home little bits of GA to my family. Yesterday I played the Good Asian Drivers set from the Synergy Service for my husband and for the two kids who didn't come with me to GA. When we were watching it a second time, my youngest son said "I don't like feminists, I mean, it's not like all us men are monsters." (Melissa Li proudly proclaims herself a feminist, and if you listen closely you can probably hear my wolf whistle in agreement from the cheap seats!)
"Sometimes that's what it feels like to be white" is what I said without even thinking about it. Oops. Maybe that was too much. In my house I am the only woman and the only white person. Well, I have a girl dog, but I don't think that counts! My husband is Korean and my kids are biological so they're multi-racial. They call themselves Hapa (which some folks feel is itself cultural misappropriation from Hawaiian, it means literally "half") and are--all four of them, powerful, strong, and very proud Asian men (their favorite hangin' out Asian guy website-- http://www.angryasianman.com/angry.html).
My kids get asked "what are you?" by people who don't really get it (favorite answer...? yes!), and "which of your parents is Asian" by people who do. They don't look like most of the kids at Korean community events, and they don't look like the folks at the Scandinavian bakery in Ballard. But this is part of the reason we moved here to Seattle from the very white midwest. Our kids do have a peer group of multi-racial kids in schools and on teams and just walking thru the zoo. Here, we're not the racial diversity on our block. We fit in.
I'm still awfully torn about the Anti-racism, anti-opression, multi cultural work that we do at GA with the youth. A few years ago I complained loudly to everyone who would listen, and just made a big mudhole of the situation. What I learned is that being white, I can't really speak to the AR/AO/MC work we do as UUs. It comes across as more denial by another white person. And maybe that is what it is. But when the youth break into Identity Groups, they caucus in two groups. One is the PoC or the Person of Color group. The other is the white group. I notice in a very outside-looking-in way of observing this group that some of the youth of a multi-racial background are "busy" during that session. My son caucused this year with the white group the one time he did attend although if you look at his myspace he identifies there as Korean American.
I wonder if we're serving our mixed race young folks well. Not to mention the able-ism, age-ism, classism anti- oppression work we aren't even whispering about! I know, I know. We only have a short, tiny time and so much to do. True true true. Race is a huge and important issue for us to deal with. In my house we celebrate "Loving Day" http://lovingday.org/and are intentionally thankful that we can be legally married. The year we were born, it would have been illegal in a handful of states still--and we're Gen X-ers!
I guess I've come to think of it this way. If we were going to caucus by sexual orientation, we would not tell our youth "you have to choose, gay or straight, one or the other, or hey! Try one today and the other one tomorrow!" what about queer youth who are bi or multi-affectional? What about trans youth? It's un-thinkable! Isn't this the reason we use the word queer? It's a bigger word! A bigger meaning!
Maybe I'm just a clueless white woman, who doesn't get it. Could be. Could be.
And really, it's a small pokey pebble of annoyance in the giant sized happiness I am still feeling about GA and especially the youth programming. And hey, it helped my little curmudgeon of an eleven-year-old son understand a little of what his white mom sometimes feels in her house full of PoCs! It's our "Growing Edge" and yes, I really do hate that term, but sometimes, I guess, it fits.
GA, Michael's last day
When I was 16 I canoed across Ontario with five other young women. We were gone for a month. We wrapped a canoe around rocks in river rapid, we camped with four grown men, we were windbound for days and at the end, we had to portage our canoes down a cliff.
So you'd think I'd really have no problem sending my sixteen year old off for this week with minimal supervision from me or any adult I know at all. And well, I guess I didn't have a problem. I know my son and he's a good egg. A covenant is a big deal to us in our family. He was busy leading the 8am strategy session anyway!
But then he called me from Houston. He'd had a weather delay out of Ft Lauderdale and had missed his connecting flight to Seattle.
Sometimes I'm so glad I've had a lot of weird jobs in my previous life. I worked reservations for Northwest for two years. I know what to do here. And luckily we still work for an airline so I logged right into the NWA system and started pulling the information on the flights. And I got on the phone with Continental--the airline he was flying.
Yep, he was on standby for the next Continental flight to Seattle. And while yes, theoretically they could put him on a flight to Minneapolis where we have family and he wouldn't have to sleep in the airport and he could just non-rev home in the morning, the Minneapolis flights were way oversold. He had a confirmed spot on a 7am flight to Seattle--in first class even! And the best bet was to standby for the last Seattle flight out for the night.
I told him to go to the gate agent, plead his case and be extremely charming. There would be few seats and maybe more people than seats and the gate agent would get to chose who got on and who didn't. Here's where the power of nice comes in!
He got on. A few weeks ago I would have been deeply relieved that he made it home. This time I was a little sorry--it would have been a rockin' adventure to sleep in the airport and then fly out first class in the morning!
So you'd think I'd really have no problem sending my sixteen year old off for this week with minimal supervision from me or any adult I know at all. And well, I guess I didn't have a problem. I know my son and he's a good egg. A covenant is a big deal to us in our family. He was busy leading the 8am strategy session anyway!
But then he called me from Houston. He'd had a weather delay out of Ft Lauderdale and had missed his connecting flight to Seattle.
Sometimes I'm so glad I've had a lot of weird jobs in my previous life. I worked reservations for Northwest for two years. I know what to do here. And luckily we still work for an airline so I logged right into the NWA system and started pulling the information on the flights. And I got on the phone with Continental--the airline he was flying.
Yep, he was on standby for the next Continental flight to Seattle. And while yes, theoretically they could put him on a flight to Minneapolis where we have family and he wouldn't have to sleep in the airport and he could just non-rev home in the morning, the Minneapolis flights were way oversold. He had a confirmed spot on a 7am flight to Seattle--in first class even! And the best bet was to standby for the last Seattle flight out for the night.
I told him to go to the gate agent, plead his case and be extremely charming. There would be few seats and maybe more people than seats and the gate agent would get to chose who got on and who didn't. Here's where the power of nice comes in!
He got on. A few weeks ago I would have been deeply relieved that he made it home. This time I was a little sorry--it would have been a rockin' adventure to sleep in the airport and then fly out first class in the morning!
Home from GA!
Seattle is a long way from Ft Lauderdale. Like one corner of the country all the way to the other. I was ready to come home. Ready to see my kids that aren't here. Ready to see my husband. And just ready to rest a little. Flights were easy and open and except for accidentally LOCKING my phone it was uneventful.
Do you have any idea how dependent I am on that phone?! I could answer it but it just mocked me by asking for my password to unlock it to be able to dial out. There I was in Memphis, phone -less with no internet accessibility. I pictured my husband getting frustrated that I didn't call him. And I don't think pay phones even exist any more. And I sure don't have a phone card or anything any more. Password? What password! It wasn't my voice mail password. No combination of four of the same numbers. NOTHING! Well, an hour later I tried the last four digits of the phone's number. And yeah, that's it. Funny. Guess I'm really not a Luddite any more. Nope.
And at the end of many hours of flying, and a nice long nap from Memphis to Seattle, I was home. My dog was ecstatic. My husband relieved to have another set of hands and my kids could let their shoulders relax a bit. Mom's home.
It was so nice to have my food around me again! Going to UU things is easier than other events, there were vegetarian options all around, but hey. My tofu! And my fake sausage! Yeay.
I passed out the few little things I brought home, shared my finds from the exhibit hall. Handed over the fair trade chocolate that I'm required to bring home from GA every year and put my new bumper stickers on my guitar case.
Hey, it's good to be back home again.
Do you have any idea how dependent I am on that phone?! I could answer it but it just mocked me by asking for my password to unlock it to be able to dial out. There I was in Memphis, phone -less with no internet accessibility. I pictured my husband getting frustrated that I didn't call him. And I don't think pay phones even exist any more. And I sure don't have a phone card or anything any more. Password? What password! It wasn't my voice mail password. No combination of four of the same numbers. NOTHING! Well, an hour later I tried the last four digits of the phone's number. And yeah, that's it. Funny. Guess I'm really not a Luddite any more. Nope.
And at the end of many hours of flying, and a nice long nap from Memphis to Seattle, I was home. My dog was ecstatic. My husband relieved to have another set of hands and my kids could let their shoulders relax a bit. Mom's home.
It was so nice to have my food around me again! Going to UU things is easier than other events, there were vegetarian options all around, but hey. My tofu! And my fake sausage! Yeay.
I passed out the few little things I brought home, shared my finds from the exhibit hall. Handed over the fair trade chocolate that I'm required to bring home from GA every year and put my new bumper stickers on my guitar case.
Hey, it's good to be back home again.
Monday, June 30, 2008
UUA GA, on SunDAY
So, take a full length mirror, a liberty hat, an American Flag and a big chain and what do you get? The most riveting religious service I've yet to experience, ever.
Anywhere.
Really.
Go watch it.
http://www.uua.org/events/generalassembly/2008/112314.shtml
The Sunday morning worship at GA is always a moment of profound joy for me. Being in that hall with thousands of fellow UUs joined in one congregation every year, the "First Unitarian Universalist Church of Greater GA" brings hot stinging tears to my eyes. Tears of joy, yes, but also tears of loss in what we miss every week when we trudge along in our small congregations, sometimes pulling out the sling shot to take aim at each other.
And then, this year, when Rev. Marlin Lavanhar opened the sermon by telling us that two years ago his three year old daughter died unexpectedly in his arms well, my whole contingent was instantly in tears. It was me and my good friend Melinda from Seattle and my dear family/friend Suz and Cory who I know from St. Louis and Oregon and our work in this RE world--we were all kind of a patched together community this sacred and wonderful morning.
And we were all thrown right down to the ground with that statement about a small one being lost. And the story marched on about how the next day Rev. Dr. Bill Sinkford was on his knees, with Rev. Lavanhar, drawing with chalk on the sidewalk with the big brother of the small one.
So really, no matter who we are, what we do; if we need each other, no worry, we'll be there for each other. I'm not even sure how this came up, but at one point he asked us to turn to each other and say something about how someday, you, seated next to me, might save my life.
Well, I had to tell Suz that of course, she already had saved my life with her powerful and endless love and care. Even when she didn't always agree with my choices, she would and DID fly across the country to be there when I really, completely down to my toes needed her.
And you know what? So would my RE colleagues, and my church family. And hey, even maybe Rev. Dr. Bill. That's what this is. It's a huge movement to fix the world and change the way we live, but it's also you and me and us just taking care of each other one day and then the next and then after that, the next. And really, hey, what could possibly be more important?
Nothing. Not a thing at all.
Blessings to you all. Everyone.
Anywhere.
Really.
Go watch it.
http://www.uua.org/events/generalassembly/2008/112314.shtml
The Sunday morning worship at GA is always a moment of profound joy for me. Being in that hall with thousands of fellow UUs joined in one congregation every year, the "First Unitarian Universalist Church of Greater GA" brings hot stinging tears to my eyes. Tears of joy, yes, but also tears of loss in what we miss every week when we trudge along in our small congregations, sometimes pulling out the sling shot to take aim at each other.
And then, this year, when Rev. Marlin Lavanhar opened the sermon by telling us that two years ago his three year old daughter died unexpectedly in his arms well, my whole contingent was instantly in tears. It was me and my good friend Melinda from Seattle and my dear family/friend Suz and Cory who I know from St. Louis and Oregon and our work in this RE world--we were all kind of a patched together community this sacred and wonderful morning.
And we were all thrown right down to the ground with that statement about a small one being lost. And the story marched on about how the next day Rev. Dr. Bill Sinkford was on his knees, with Rev. Lavanhar, drawing with chalk on the sidewalk with the big brother of the small one.
So really, no matter who we are, what we do; if we need each other, no worry, we'll be there for each other. I'm not even sure how this came up, but at one point he asked us to turn to each other and say something about how someday, you, seated next to me, might save my life.
Well, I had to tell Suz that of course, she already had saved my life with her powerful and endless love and care. Even when she didn't always agree with my choices, she would and DID fly across the country to be there when I really, completely down to my toes needed her.
And you know what? So would my RE colleagues, and my church family. And hey, even maybe Rev. Dr. Bill. That's what this is. It's a huge movement to fix the world and change the way we live, but it's also you and me and us just taking care of each other one day and then the next and then after that, the next. And really, hey, what could possibly be more important?
Nothing. Not a thing at all.
Blessings to you all. Everyone.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
GA, Ware Day!
2008, I think, was even more prophetic.
We got kinda excited in the hall. There we were, some thousands of UUs being told, “watch out, get ready, something is gonna happen that you are probably not ready for”
What?
“You’ve been fighting this good fight and you know what? You’re about to win!”
Van Jones thinks that we have to get ready, that in fact the future of our planet depends on us. We UUs simply must get ready to lead. To govern. To guide the coming of the new way of being in the world.
He’s got this phenomenally just and right idea about social justice and greening of the planet and how they are related.
The danger is, he says “Stagflation” which happens when energy prices rise, and everything else has to kind of fall, then energy rises, jobs go, everything gets more expensive—a nasty cycle. And in the scariest moment of the night he points out that the last time the Democrats and the house, senate and presidency and stagflation, was when Jimmy Carter was our president. An amazing man, but a horribly failed presidency.
Ahh! Now he’s got my attention, not that he didn’t from moment one with his big double wave as he came out, his jumping at the podium. This man has presence. And, he knows his audience. As he’s telling us we have to give up the David-role because Goliath is about to fall and we need to take up the Noah role of gathering the things on the planet to save he refers to us as Mr. and Mrs. Noah, or Mr. and Mr. Noah or Ms and Ms Noah.
The man has done his homework.
And he’s amazing. Put people to work by having a whole industry that weather proofs the country. Jobs, industry and saved energy. Put people to work creating wind farms and wave farms and turning
Then when the lecture was over, during a huge long standing ovation he went down to the total love and adoration of the youth caucus. We could see him on the jumbo-tron totally firing them up. And you know, when our youth get fired up things happen. Like the Unitarians and the Universalists actually merge. And wild amazing things like that.
So here we go. Step up. Something big is right around the corner. Are you ready!?
UUA GA, Another Day!
The best thing about GA, well the best thing about anything really, is the people. I've just been giddy this whole week because my friend Suzanne is here with me most of the time! And then, her kind and generous and non-UU husband was kind and generous and brought their daughters down for dinner so I could SEE them!
You have to stop sometimes and actually eat real food with utensils that are not plastic and a plate that is not paper during GA. And you have to sit down. Otherwise I think you might just collapse after a few days.
So we went to a nice Irish Pub and had food the girls didn't like, but they were kind enough to humor me and talk to me and tell me about school and girlscouts and getting ears pierced by a bearded lady in Cape Cod (NO lie!).
Then we went for icecream and were joined by Michael. While it's been about three years since we've all been together, before that we used to come visit all the time, when we were homeschooling and had flight benefits and it was winter in Minnesota, where we lived. So Michael knows them like cousins--except, that in his mind and (and the rest of my family), the girls are frozen in time. Actually frozen at about 2 and 5. When I mention the little one going to school I get this: "Mom, what do you mean? She's two! I hate it when you lie to me like that!" Tongue firmly in cheek of course. So, Michael got to see with his own eyes, yep, they're 7 and 10. Not tiny any more.
What a nice little piece of heaven, a few hours with friends that are really family AND the kids, too!
You have to stop sometimes and actually eat real food with utensils that are not plastic and a plate that is not paper during GA. And you have to sit down. Otherwise I think you might just collapse after a few days.
So we went to a nice Irish Pub and had food the girls didn't like, but they were kind enough to humor me and talk to me and tell me about school and girlscouts and getting ears pierced by a bearded lady in Cape Cod (NO lie!).
Then we went for icecream and were joined by Michael. While it's been about three years since we've all been together, before that we used to come visit all the time, when we were homeschooling and had flight benefits and it was winter in Minnesota, where we lived. So Michael knows them like cousins--except, that in his mind and (and the rest of my family), the girls are frozen in time. Actually frozen at about 2 and 5. When I mention the little one going to school I get this: "Mom, what do you mean? She's two! I hate it when you lie to me like that!" Tongue firmly in cheek of course. So, Michael got to see with his own eyes, yep, they're 7 and 10. Not tiny any more.
What a nice little piece of heaven, a few hours with friends that are really family AND the kids, too!
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